De-escalating behaviours of distress - Blog
De-escalating behaviours of distress
Lucas was a happy, kind, bright and humorous young man until he had to leave his special educational needs placement aged of 16 due to its age limitation. We tried other local provisions which all proved unsuitable and had to look out of county.
Eventually Lucas received a place at a residential college in Swindon which was closed by Ofsted before he started. Another placement in Dorset failed because it was not Care Quality Commission (CQC) registered (we were not informed of this.) Because staff were unable to administer medication, he became very ill and was sent home. This was just before lockdown.
His psychiatrist and I believed Lucas suffered a mental breakdown which started to manifest in his distressed behaviours.
It took us months to find another placement, then the Local Education Authority (LEA) tried to remove his Education, Health and Care plan (EHCP) resulting in me taking it to a Judicial Review, which I won. It was a time-consuming and highly stressful time.
The impact of being out of education
With Lucas being stuck at home doing nothing seven days a week, his distress became more apparent.
He would get verbally and sometimes physically aggressive out of the blue, I believe through pure frustration. He began to flap his arms, rub his temples hard and occasionally throw objects, including a glass bottle of apple juice which smashed against the wall. He would roll his eyes back and stare blankly and directly upwards for several minutes. He would sit and rock backwards and forwards, sometimes with his head in his hands. He stopped cleaning himself after having a bowel movement and then wiped the mess on his face.
He began hoarding his DVDs, getting 100s of them out of their cases and spreading them over his bedroom floor. If I tried to clear them up, he would get aggressive. I started rationing the number of DVDs he had access to and locked some of them in the shed.
I started to become fearful of him as the outbursts were random – swearing at me and occasionally pushing me hard.
He would let himself out of the house and walk for miles, sometimes overnight and the police were called on several occasions. Thankfully they found him quickly each time, but the worry was he wouldn’t carry food, water, or use a mobile phone. He was not threatening to others, but he is vulnerable to predatory people, which scared me.
I became mindful of hiding any glassware and other heavy objects such as plates. I hid all the door keys in my bedside table drawer each night.
How to support your autistic child when they experience behaviours of distress
I learned to avoid him by reading the signs that he wanted to be left alone and gave him space, at the same time keeping watch to make sure he was safe. It’s important to keep calm yourself and try not to stop any stimming, such as the flapping and head rubbing/eye movements, as this can make behaviours worse. It’s best to try to accept them as part of coping strategies.
It’s very painful as a mother to watch your son regress, which is what happened, and to become, virtually overnight, selectively mute, uncommunicative, and anxious.
I have learned distressed behaviours are ways for autistic people to cope with both unspent energy and frustrations. Long walks helped or drives in the car.
I always had favourite food and snacks to hand as it was difficult to know if he was hungry or not due to the lack of communication.
About the author:
Laura is an experienced news and features journalist who has written for national titles and then worked in PR for her own clients and agencies around the UK.
Laura is in the process of setting up the SEN Family Network website, telling her story and journey with Lucas and helping other families who are often going through the same long, hard fight to get the support their children need.
Lucas is now happy in Brighton at St. John’s College and will be moving into supported living down there hopefully over the summer.
